Only twice in my life have I ever craved a really good blog entry. Once was last night, and the first was the beginning of this past Fall 2009 semester. In addition to blogs, I crave a spectrum of other items. This past semester is a list in itself: Ramen noodles of the beef flavor variety and of the spicy flavor at the campus Walgreens (the miracles of a dollar and some hot water), chocolate manifest as Twix bars and Cookies ‘n’ Creme Crunch bars, Chinese food in the form of fried dumplings and spicy beef lo mein (with vegetables), buffalo wings in BW3’s spicy garlic and blazin’, Taco Bell after four hours in organic chemistry laboratory, and romantic comedies like Just Friends and Love Actually.
I think these cravings are my way of escapism. That’s explicitly what I wanted last night: To escape. That’s something we all want, right? Is that wrong? Is that disloyal and dishonest to ourselves? I was sick of my life for a little while last night: School, my friends, my taste in music, my wardrobe, the way I think about things. It sounds morbid and ungrateful.
Last night, just for a little while, I didn’t want to live — I just wanted to exist. I wanted to ditch my responsibility as the prima donna and the protagonist. Let the spotlight fall on someone else and immerse me in your life: Your joy and sorrow, your thoughts and fantasies, frustrations and pride, wishes and goals. Just for a little while — at least until life beckons me back onstage.