Mr. Egg

This is Mr. Egg. Mr. Egg was purchased, along with 11 other Mr. Eggs, for about $2. I have eaten the other 11 Mr. Eggs, and I would have eaten the last Mr. Egg this morning, but I decided not to.

As you can see, there is a little hole at the top of Mr. Egg. The Mr. Eggs that I purchase usually do not have holes at the top. In fact, the reason I purchase these Mr. Eggs is because I want them to not have holes at the top. Holes at the top of a Mr. Egg mean that Mr. Egg is still alive.

Yes, Mr. Egg was still alive sometime between November 20th November 29th. Mr. Egg must have tried to escape the frigid temperature of my refrigerator. But, to Mr. Egg’s dismay, my fridge is much too frigid for any escape. Mr. Egg fell victim to the harsh temperatures because he poked a hole in the top of the egg with his beak. Mr. Egg should have waited in the warmth of the egg. Maybe, then, Mr. Egg could have escaped as I cracked open Mr. Egg to pour him into the scalding warmth of my skillet.

I will not dispose of Mr. Egg. I might keep him as a souvenir. Or as a reminder to other Mr. Eggs that they should be dead when I buy them.

Thankfully, we can take comfort in knowing that Mr. Egg died in the company of his dead brothers.

• Eggs