Jerkasaurus

You will rarely find me using a cuss or derogatory words. My only allowance is when I’m quoting someone or something, and even then I find that I might not quote in entirety.

Sometimes I like to call someone a jerkasaurus as opposed to those jerky other colloquialisms. If I call you one, here’s why you ought to be offended:

1. It denotes you as an archaic and extinct beast . . .
2. . . . which subtly implies that I am younger and more likely to live longer than you.
3. It’s suffix, jerk-, means that you are, in fact, a jerk.
4. Am I being cute, or do I legitimately think you awful? If neither of the above cause offense, surely decoding why I called you one will cause you stress . . .
5. . . . which will lead to offense on account of stress; for it is offensive for a friend to commit such an act to another.
6. The English derivation of the suffix, jerka-, is cousinally related to the Mario creeps, Koopa Troopas, idiotically mundane creatures slaughtered with a bounce on either their skull or shell . . .
7. . . . implying that you are just as easily erased with a tap on the noggin or spine . . .
8. . . . and also that you belong in a video game where you are creamed by an Italian plumber in overalls.
9. The plural of the noun is jerkasaurus, the plural additive “-s”, being identical to the “s” following “jerka”, causing you to wonder whether I have called cussed you in the multiple or singular form . . .
10. . . . causing you stress which leads to offense on account of stress.
11. I derive pleasure in calling you such which is incredibly offensive (and I might add, unethical on my part).
12. You are, in fact, a jerkasaurus, and I am rude in addressing you directly as such.

Completely silly post, but I do enjoy calling people jerkasaurus.

• Cuss
• Jerk
• Jerkasaurus